Funny Friday: A Twisted Bill on Capitol Hill

Recently, the proposal of Arizona Bill 1062 created a media firestorm. The bill, which was proposed to grant more religious liberty to business owners, was largely misconstrued as an “anti-gay” bill. Realistically, the bill would have made room for potential sexual orientation profiling and refusal of service (it would protect someone, like a caterer, from refusing to service a gay wedding if they claimed it violated their religious freedom). Although the bill wasn’t exactly a gay “Jim Crow” law, Arizona Governor, Jan Brewer, announced Wednesday that she vetoed Senate Bill 1062. Thankfully, laws like Jim Crow have been changed. There are, however, some ridiculous laws that still have not been altered. For this Funny Friday, we’re sharing the most ridiculous laws on the books.

Margarine Is Not The New Butter: if you are “locked up” in Wisconsin, you are actually being treated pretty well. Margarine (or, I Cannot Believe it’s not Butter), cannot be served in prisons. Only real butter is allowed. The Midwest is serious about butter, people. If you get caught trying to pass off fake butter for real butter in Iowa, you now have committed a misdemeanor.

Garden State Laws: if you are a New Jersey resident and get a DUI, you are not allowed to have vanity plates. Sorry, I’m not sorry you have to give up your “Awesome” plates.  New Jersey law also states that wearing a bullet proof vest while committing a crime is also a crime. Makes sense. Fleeing from police while wearing the vest can also increase the crime from third to second degree and second to first degree.

Twisted Laws: do pretzels making you thirsty? Hopefully you aren’t planning to wash them down with beer in North Dakota, because, technically, you would be breaking the law.

Let Sleeping Bears Lie: in Alaska, if you were going to wake them for a photo-op, think again, waking them for that specific purpose is illegal.

Party Poopers: if you are  in Mobile, Alabama, it is illegal to throw confetti or spray silly string.

A Cold Movember: Movember could have been a frustrating month in Iowa for mustached men, who are not allowed to kiss a woman in public.

Don’t Go To Bed Angry: if a husband and wife argue in Virginia and cannot share a bed, the man should take the couch, because he is not suppose to kick a woman out of bed.

Keep It Clean: in Oregon, naughty talk is illegal during certain…adult acts.

It’s Her Prerogative: a woman has the right to change her mind, right? That is allowed, to an extent, though. In Kentucky, a woman cannot remarry the same man more than three times. Understandable.

State Farm Should Steer Clear of Pennsylvania: there must have been some real practical jokers in Pennsylvania, because there is a law that dictates one cannot tie a dollar bill to a string on the ground and pull it away when someone tries to pick it up.

Cage Your Bears: in Missouri, it is illegal to drive with bears uncaged.

Thou Shalt Not: if you find yourself in Alabama, make sure not to dress up like a nun or priest, because you could receive a fine or jail time, unless you’ve taken the appropriate vows .

Oh No You Don’t: keep your coughing and spitting to yourself, especially in Ohio, because it is illegal to “expectorate” on public transportation.

The “Brothel Law”: this law, found near many college campuses, enforces that more than a certain number of unrelated people (about six, but the number fluctuates by town) cannot live in the same house. This law is still upheld today, for example in Evanston, Illinois. Though, there have been recent proposed reforms to the law.

You Don’t Have To Go Home, But: you can get drunk,  at a bar in Alaska, but you are not to stay on the premises.

I Wonder What it’s Like To Be The Rainmaker: well, you can modify the weather in Colorado, but you’re going to need a permit.

Hello, Clarice: when people think “trailblazing state,” Idaho may not be the first state to come to mind, but they are the only state that outlaws cannibalism.

Leing Down The Law: billboards are illegal in Hawaii, with few exceptions. Maine and Alaska also have more strict outdoor advertising regulations.

Cover Photo Source: mdgn

Kristi is a Junior Executive at SJG. She graduated with a BS in Advertising and Public Relations from Northern Arizona University. She bleeds blue and orange, or red, or blue and red, depending on the season. Kristi spends her free time cheering on her Chicago teams, volunteering and exploring different neighborhoods. She also enjoys snowboarding, mixology and writing, but avoids doing them all at once (snow patrol tends to frown on that).